Now You Have Her
by apiratesmile
Summary: Patrick's wife looks quietly over a covnversation between Jane and Lisbon. Oneshot.


I do not know what pulled me from my peaceful wanderings to the raggedy couch my husband always slept on. It had never happened to me before. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darker light of the CBI office. Everything was much brighter in the other place.

I looked around carefully, hoping to catch a glimpse of my husband. Was he all right? Was he the reason I was here? A tall man walked by me, his forehead creased in concentration as he gazed over a file in his hand. I did not pay much attention to him. What's the point of wasting time on a person who could not see you? The tall man was followed by a red head. She was cute and innocent, not what I would expect of a field agent. I watched her a little closer. Her eyes were staring heavily into the back of the tall man with a wispy, almost distraught look.

"Jane I don't care how clever you think you are you can't pull stupid crap like this!"

My head snapped at the mention of my husband. Through the crack of blinds I saw the familiar outline of my husband and across from him a petite woman with a look of murder in her eyes.

"I don't know why you're complaining Lisbon. I caught him, didn't I," I heard my husband snap, a hint of exasperation in his voice. They obviously had this conversation before.

Without thinking, I gently stood up and glided to the office, oblivious to my surroundings. I stopped at the doorway, leaning myself against the frame to watch the pair more comfortably.

Patrick looked as handsome as always. His tossed blonde curls made my fingers ache with longing. What I would give to be solid and feel him in my arms and pull my fingers through his curls again. My gaze shifted to his eyes and I was forced to pause. They were not the same eyes that I remembered. It was true that they still contained an unfathomable blue flecked with silver but they were empty. They were not bright like I remembered them to be.

My carefree Patrick had changed into an obsessive man, filled to bursting point for revenge. I do not understand why he feels such a need to avenge us. Maybe it is because I am dead; revenge does not matter to me. Nothing will change for me when Red John meets his end. My child and I will still be dead.

My attention moved to Lisbon when I heard her let out a growl of frustration. My lips turned up slightly in sympathy. Patrick was a man who could not be argued with. He was one of the few men in this world who would stick beside his decision no matter what. It made him insufferably, yet very alluring. Lisbon was obviously allured by my husband's charms. I could not blame her but I could not like her for it either.

Lisbon was pretty. I could see all the qualities in her that my husband enjoyed. She was strong willed and in control, lines were never crossed and rules were never bent. For a man who did not measure himself by rules, he strongly admired that quality in others. It made me a little nervous how open she was when he was around. How could she be so relaxed and familiar with him? She wore a small smile like she knew everything about Patrick. She acted as if she knew his tells and his weaknesses, his habits and comforts. But she didn't! I do not even know everything about this man! How could she?

Patrick despised tea. He would be completely mystified over the fact that I enjoyed tea while he smugly took a sip from his coffee in the morning. Yet there he stood in her office, a cup of it in hand. This man no longer made any sense to me but by the look on Lisbon's face she had him all figured out.

Was that why I was here? To watch as I was slowly being replaced by another.

I thought I wanted him to move on. I wanted to see him happy again. But I don't know anymore. The thought of him no longer being only mine weighs heavily inside me and I cannot help but somehow hate that woman. Maybe if she had not come into his life then he would have stayed only mine. Of course I am certain he would have found another but not another who could truly complete him like her. That's what I think hurts the most. Knowing I could be completely replaced by a woman who was nothing like me and he would be okay.

He would be okay without me because he had her.

* * *

I apologize for this being so short but I really only wrote it to pass the time at the airport. Darn tornados everywhere!

I hope you enjoy and leave a review!


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